Tactical Psychology

Hi guys! The weekend is upon us, but before we all get ready to finally relax, I want to drop some knowledge your way about growth and life in general! Sit back, buckle up and enjoy the read! 📚📖

RULE 1: You are responsible for everything in your own experience.

Even if it’s not your fault.

This concept of radical responsibility comes from existentialism.

Jean-Paul Sartre specifically, who had this amazing insight that in every moment, we are choosing. We are constantly making choices of not only what to do, but how to see things.

So if someone says something to piss you off, well, you chose to be pissed off. You chose to have values that made that thing piss you off. You chose to listen to the guy who pissed you off.

Now, this constant choosing is a massive load on us mentally and emotionally, and it’s because we are terrified of shouldering this exhausting sense of responsibility that it’s also human nature to blame other people, to share the load and pass it off.

The problem is that the first step of personal development is personal responsibility. You can’t improve anything, including yourself, if you don’t think you are responsible for it. So get good at it.

RULE 2: There is no such thing as a bad emotion. There are only bad reactions to emotions.

There’s no such thing as a bad note, only bad musicians.

There is no such thing as a bad emotion, only bad people.

Everybody gets angry, sad, depressed, anxious or whatever. That’s okay, that’s normal. But what determines if the emotion is good or bad or not, is determined by the person who handles the emotion. You can either choose to handle the stirring emotion in an emotionally intelligent way (which we will get into a bit deeper in future posts), or you can choose to handle it like an emotional dumpster fire.

If you think of emotional management as a skill, which it is, you will realise that the same way some people are naturally great at running and some people naturally totally suck, some people are naturally good at dealing with emotions, and others have to learn. Which are you? Are you emotionally intelligent or a dumpster fire? Be honest with yourself when answering.

RULE 3: Every action and decision you make should be motivated to improve lives.

Both yours and/or others.

Now, obviously this is a very difficult rule to uphold, not only because the idea of sitting at home on the couch drinking beer all day is much more attractive, but because it is really hard to know what improvement is exactly. What makes a life better? And for who? Are you pampering your child or are you giving them opportunity? Are you loving someone or are you smothering the fuck out of them? But a simple smile goes a long way.

This confusion is why this rule needs to be about intention. It’s about radical growth. So when you apply this rule to your life you should seek growth through improvement, health, and functionality. The intention needs to be that everything you do in life is for the benefit of some living being, either you or someone or something else. Then watch yourself grow.

Have a wonderful weekend!

See you on Monday 🧠🤝🏻